Warriors of the Klingon Empire come to drink and sing songs of past glory
You might be a Klingon if...
You Might be a Klingon if:
**...You laugh when a redshirted Fedrat Security officer tells you to "pipe down or leave the bar." Then you shoot him.
**...You roar with righteous vengeance and seek the ever-recurring death of the "Thing" who discovered YiH--(strangling noises)--Tribbles!
**...You tell Romulan Jokes--Examples:
Q) Why do all the trees on the planets of the Klingon empire lean toward Romulan space?
A) Because Romulus Sucks. (In fact they Suck Blackhole.)
Q) How do you get a one-armed Romulan out of a tree?
A)Wave to him. HaH!! Wrong, topaH!--You shoot him.
**...You like this story:
Montgomery Scott goes into Deep Space Station K-7, and begins drinking that Federation swill they call ooISQI. Getting drunk like the fool he is, he makes the mistake of walking up to Klingon commander Korax, innocently consuming bloodwine. Tapping the commander on the shoulder, Scott belches out in a slurred voice, "'Scuse me, sir--but ahr ye that ugly when ah'm sober?"
Korax slaps his agonizer on the Fedrat, who goes, "EEeep!" and drops in a drunken heap on the bar floor. Turning to the shaking pataQ behind the bar, Korax smiles nicely, holds out his tankard, and says, "May I have another?" (--from Korax himself)
**...You shoot the pataQ who though up "Turtlehead" jokes.
**...You shoot the HaDibaH who thought up "Redneck" jokes--Then you beat him more senseless then the worm already is...Then you get to torture him, by making him have intimate relations with a Pakled named Roseann Barr.
--Qap'la!!--QlarH sutai-Qorej, IKV Honored Death.
**...You laugh when a redshirted Fedrat Security officer tells you to "pipe down or leave the bar." Then you shoot him.
**...You roar with righteous vengeance and seek the ever-recurring death of the "Thing" who discovered YiH--(strangling noises)--Tribbles!
**...You tell Romulan Jokes--Examples:
Q) Why do all the trees on the planets of the Klingon empire lean toward Romulan space?
A) Because Romulus Sucks. (In fact they Suck Blackhole.)
Q) How do you get a one-armed Romulan out of a tree?
A)
**...You like this story:
Montgomery Scott goes into Deep Space Station K-7, and begins drinking that Federation swill they call ooISQI. Getting drunk like the fool he is, he makes the mistake of walking up to Klingon commander Korax, innocently consuming bloodwine. Tapping the commander on the shoulder, Scott belches out in a slurred voice, "'Scuse me, sir--but ahr ye that ugly when ah'm sober?"
Korax slaps his agonizer on the Fedrat, who goes, "EEeep!" and drops in a drunken heap on the bar floor. Turning to the shaking pataQ behind the bar, Korax smiles nicely, holds out his tankard, and says, "May I have another?" (--from Korax himself)
**...You shoot the pataQ who though up "Turtlehead" jokes.
**...You shoot the HaDibaH who thought up "Redneck" jokes--Then you beat him more senseless then the worm already is...Then you get to torture him, by making him have intimate relations with a Pakled named Roseann Barr.
--Qap'la!!--QlarH sutai-Qorej, IKV Honored Death.
Comment
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Comment by QlarH sutai-Qorej on November 22, 2009 at 8:48am -
Just a sidenote to all targ-lovers...the sequel cartoon from Belgium for the Targ and Data joke, is located at youtube.com, under "Belgian Farting Pig Cartoon"...Beyond Bizarre.
QlarH sutai-Qorej.
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Comment by QlarH sutai-Qorej on November 21, 2009 at 1:05am
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You might be a Klingon if...you laugh at these:
Q) What is black, blue and green, and goes 180 kellicams per standard daypart (hour)?
A) The Romulan sliding off the nose of your ground forces' hover vehicle.
The targ went out onto the front grounds of the Klingon House's hold, and began rooting around for its favorite prize. The animal was squealing and rumbling with pleasure when it uncovered its new best prize. Erupting out the dirt, the Starfleet android Data brushed dirt off his now soiled Federation Starfleet uniform. He looked at the targ, gamboling about with great noise and apparent happiness, and said, "I apologize, Drel, but your master, General Martok, would not likely prefer his Federation envoy and guest, being buried when he supposed to be watching you."
The targ harrumphed, and shook his head. The animal turned around with his backside to the golden android, wagged and raised his tufted tail, loudly farted on Data, and proceeded to rebury his new friend.
--QlarH sutai-Qorej.
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Comment by Ke'reth epetai Makura on November 20, 2009 at 5:33pm -
What do Klingons and Nike have in common?
They both make Romulans run faster.
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Comment by Ke'reth epetai Makura on November 20, 2009 at 5:11pm
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majQA! QlarH
You might be a Klingon if... You find this funny. . .
How do you stop a Romulan from drowning? You take your boot off the back of his neck and allow him to lift his head out of the water.
What do Romulans and Xmas decorations have in common? They both look best when hanging from a tree.
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Comment by QlarH sutai-Qorej on November 17, 2009 at 1:27am
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Ke'reth: Maj. majQA! Well done--HAAhaha!--(Saluting with fresh bloodwine) QlarH sutai-Qorej.
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Comment by Ke'reth epetai Makura on November 15, 2009 at 11:29pm
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You might be a Klingon if...
Orion slave girls raise the temperature inside your armour.
Terran beer has no effect on your Sobriety levels.
Someone annoys you and you look around for something either sharp, Heavy or both.
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Comment by QlarH sutai-Qorej on November 15, 2009 at 2:00am
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Oh jupWI' Qaolin! As you prefer to be called, surely you are a qlinzhaH master in humor!
You might be a Klingon if...
...A human Insane Clown Posse Juggalo Moshpit is just slightly less fun than your last Bloodwine barrel-opening party.
...You feel that "aggressive negotiations" are only successful, when you are FINALLY able to raise your House and Imperial Banner, and a tankard of good bloodwine, over the carcass of your last enemy.
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Comment by General Lushy Juriss on November 10, 2009 at 10:49am
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you might be a Klingon if....
loved this one
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Comment by QlarH sutai-Qorej on November 9, 2009 at 7:43pm
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(Laughing uproariously)--majQa, jepgh'pu Qaolin!! More! I must have more!
You Might be a Klingon if...
--QlarH sutai-Qorej.
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